Cindy's Diary No. 5: The Extraction


I haven't been posting in this blog lately as I was too busy with the travel blog and other editorial stuff. I just came back from the doctor today because I have been feeling dizzy for the last three days or since I had my molar extracted. The procedure itself, as scary as it sounds, didn't hurt at all because of anesthesia. Also, because of the Chinese doctor who can speak in Filipino, I found comfort listening to her calming voice. The extraction lasted for ten to fifteen minutes. I could feel the pulling and rolling of the pliers until it was done. My goodness! The night before I was feeling terrible headache and one tooth pulled and the headache was gone. 

However, the anesthesia went off and then it's time to feel the pain. My lower gum felt beaten up and I have been experiencing fever, dizziness, and nausea over the next few days. I couldn't go on leave last Monday because of a meeting and yesterday, I thought I am feeling better but here comes the dizziness again with an accompanied diarrhea. Hurrah!

I slept the whole morning today and afterwards, watched a tv series released sixteen years ago: Gilmore Girls. The hubby who has watched it a long time ago made fun of me. He couldn't avoid watching for a few moments, then he laughed, which means he totally enjoyed it. 

The hubby has been pampering me a lot. He prepared breakfast and lunch today, plus he got me ice cream! He is my saviour. Anyway, when I went to the clinic next to the metro station near my home, I felt comfortable explaining what I have been feeling lately, which apart from the dizziness and nausea, I told him I couldn't get pregnant again after a year of miscarriage. He gave me two letters of referral, one to the laboratory and one to the specialist. I told him I wanted to discuss with the hubby first. 

I think that was me taking the first step into wanting to have a child. I heard that when you get to 30, the feasibility of getting pregnant will decrease. I am turning 27 next month (and I have booked a trip to Kuala Lumpur), and that means I only have three more years to work on this. I felt that I have not been ready for the last months and years, but it is not because I wanted to enjoy more of my being solo or being selfish. I didn't want it before because I am afraid I will not be able to handle it. I may be the worst mother and my son or daughter may hate me. Being a mother is a very serious matter, because once you have a baby, there's no turning back. Whatever your kid needs, you need to be there 24/7. There has been a lot of theory on how to raise a child, and if you get it wrong, it will mean you are sending another human being to the universe. Whether he or she be a help to the society is also the mother's responsibility. 

Then I watched Gilmore Girls, the mother, and daughter duo made me want that kind of feeling, like having a best friend. My Mom and Dad were not my best friends at all growing up. I kinda have a hidden life away from their eyes, I was too scared of disappointing them and I am just afraid that my kid will feel the same thing towards me. 

Alright, enough with that. 

Here is my life so far in photos:

This is me and the hubby after the tooth extraction

Hubby and I are both addicted to Narcos.

That evening, we had dinner at a Chinese Restaurant and played in a playground near our home, firstly to catch pokemons but in the end, he and I were riding these rocking animals.

I treated myself a cup of ice cream that evening. 

The same thing, the next day.

Last Monday was my Dad's birthday so I treated him to a Japanese Resto!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, were my thoughts for the night. Tonight after I bathe, I probably will do two things: watch more of Gilmore Girls and/ or write my pending novella. 
Until then! :) 

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