Dear Diary: Overcoming Self Doubts


Unfortunately I won't be able to join the book launch for the coming week and I know I am going to regret it later. However the hubby requested if I can stay at home instead of traveling back to Manila, during my time off. I have to agree and accept defeat. My husband was never strict with me, but after all the problems we encountered and overcome this year, I'd say I would prefer him to be strict to me at least every once in a while. I would like to give him the opportunity to have a "say" with my decisions. He is not very strict, he would let me go out with my friends too, but I have been traveling so much that I know to myself that I need stay put and spend more time with him. I'm sad that I need to miss that book launch, but weighting the pros and cons, I'd really rather stay at home.

Last week, we had our final exam for my tourism course and I feel that I have not done well. Now, I feel anxious. The midterm exam didn't go well even if I studied really hard. For our finals, I only did a quick scan the night before as I was so busy the whole week in the office, I do not have the time to study. I was lucky to know 50% of the questionnaires in the paper, I can only hope that I pass the exam.

I have thought about my next career move... Do I really want to work in a travel industry forever? I have been here for more than 6 years now, and so far what I can conclude is that I can't escape the industry, because the truth is along the way I am having fun. I love traveling and exploring new places. No, I do not like the stress that comes with it - but those things are unavoidable. Whichever job I take I would be doing, stress will always be a part.

Another school module is going to start this Friday however, I still have my doubts whether to enroll for this class or not. I have 6 more subjects to go, and once I finished this, I will be able to move to the next level, I will be able to finish my studies. If I give up now, who knows when I will be back again. However, some cells in my body are hesitating!!! And I hate not to be 100% sure, I don't want to be indecisive. Taking the course will be good for me, for my future. I've got to convince myself.

Sometimes I have the tendency of giving up and let the world passed by. I know positive results will not come out if I keep my lazy attitude. I got to get out of my comfort zone.

Speaking of comfort zone, remember that Iran trip that just ended around two weeks ago? I felt that I have pushed myself to the edge, beyond my comfort zone and although the job was never easy, I am discovering things I never thought will be possible. I am quite impressed with myself for having the patience, I never thought I can be hard working, but I MANAGED. I think if we get contented with our comfort zones, then we are actually missing the opportunities, the possibilities that comes our way. Life is all about learning, emerging from what we were, improving ourselves and overcoming problems that makes us a stronger and better person. With those characteristics, I believe that you will be able to contribute more to the society. You will be a more effective human being.

I guess I have already answered my own doubts, if whether I should enroll to that class or not. Let me end this post with this quote, "The only way out, is the way through." 

This photo has nothing to do with the post. Just me saying "Hi" from Persepolis. :D 

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